The Guest List
by Berrie Salamander
Summary: James is going to have a party, no matter what. With that settled, he turns to the issue of who to invite...


This mentions some common plotlines used in Harry Potter fan fictions, so it could be called a parody. Maybe. As always, thanks for the reviews for my other one-shots!

The Guest List

I didn't get a twenty-first birthday party, because my family were busy hunting down a load of former Death Eaters who chose that year to try and resurrect Voldemort. And the year after that mum said I couldn't have a party because dad, who was in Azkaban for hurting a Death Eater and breaching their human rights, wouldn't have been able to come. So this year I am going to have a party, on my actual birthday. Now I need to decide who to invite.

I suppose it will be entertaining if my Quidditch team came, since they have so many problems. Isaac, Steve and Max all seem to be in love with Amelia Crystal Sapphire Nightshade Zinnia Jones, one of the chasers, but she's in love with Kamir the beater, whose hair in navy, purple and black. On top of that, all the officials say we cheat, because our seeker Marie is supposedly a shape shifter. But where's the proof?

Then there's my family. My parents aren't coming, no matter how disappointed dad will be. As an Auror, Al is really busy, but I'm sure he'll find time to come to the party, as long as he hasn't gone back to our dad's fifth year to tell him he marries a girl he doesn't give a second look to. Oh, wait, it's normally my fault when that happens. Also, Al can only come as long as he doesn't go on about how he was the first Slytherin Potter. Lily's much cooler. She was a Gryffindor, a beater, a new marauder and the only girl Teddy Lupin's ever kissed without it leading to "something more". I think she likes Lorcan… or is it Lysander? I can never tell. In fact, she may actually like Teddy… hm…

Oh, I'm so inviting Teddy and Victoire! Do you know that they've been engaged for three years, but they're currently not speaking to each other? That's because Vic caught Ted kissing Dominique. I'm inviting all three of them. It should be interesting, and the influence of Firewhisky might get the lovebirds back together. I'm doing them a favour.

Fred should be top of my list, since we were the leaders of the new marauders at school. We are so going to play pranks at my own party, not that I care. Roxy's almost as fun as Fred, and she's a Quidditch player like me, so she's definitely coming.

I guess I better invite Rosie and her new boyfriend. Scorpius Malfoy. They were trying to keep it a secret, in case Ron killed her, but I found them snogging a few weeks ago, and told everyone, just like I did with Ted and Vic all those years ago. Maybe I should do it for a living. Little Scorpius can come, as long as he doesn't start flirting with Roxy, Lily and Dom. At the same time. Anyway, back to my guest list. Hugo can come, even though he'll probably be all depressed about something. Usually it's because he always feels left out. Poor guy. It's not his fault he's the youngest; that's Ron and Hermione's fault. I would invite Louis, but he's in Romania studying dragons with Charlie, lucky guy. Point is, he wouldn't make it. Shame.

Oh yeah. Molly and Lucy. Something tells me Molly won't want to waste her time at parties. She'll be too busy being ambitious to bother coming. Lucy, on the other hand, will probably turn up an hour early, chuck her handbag in the punch and add Firewhisky to the Butterbeer, like she did at the last party I went to with her. She gets it from her mother.

Lorcan and Lysander have been invited, if only because it's amusing to see them (attempt to) chat up my various female cousins. Although this technique seems to work on Lily, but then again she's easily impressed. I'm glad she can't read my mind. If she could, she'd kill me.

I think that's everyone… oh, and my girlfriend, Jo. I almost forgot about her. It's hard not to, she's pretty boring. Sorry Jo. Actually I prefer that Auror called Cherry. I'll invite both of them!

Wow, I need to get more friends that aren't family or work colleagues. Hey, I'm fine with it as long as I get presents.

_I really enjoyed writing this. Anyway, the next character to be subjected to my imagination is… *opens envelope* Scorpius Malfoy!_


End file.
